Talking in Our Sleep
by The Werewolf Mage
Summary: People say a lot of funny things in their sleep don't they? Let's see what some Marauder era characters have to say in their sleep.
1. James Potter

Title: Talking In Our Sleep

Summary: People say a lot of funny things in their sleep don't they? Let's see what some Marauder era characters have to say in their sleep.

**Note: Of course this'll be a chapter fic. One character per chapter. Some silly things, maybe some confessions. I'll go by requested characters first, then fill in the blanks. So say who you want to see talk.**

Chapter 1: James Potter

There was only one boy sleeping in the fifth year Gryffindor boys' dorm at the time. James Potter was literally sprawled on his bed, mostly laying off of it. His face was actually inches off the floor and his glasses were just sitting on the end of his nose.

"Didn't think Quidditch was very tiring." Sirius Black remarked conversationally.

Remus Lupin shrugged. "He was playing in the middle of a storm. For hours. I suppose that'll tire anyone out."

Shutting his book, he grabbed his wand off his bedside table and flicked it. James's glasses flew off his face and settled themselves on his bedside table. The action did not wake James, but did cause him to mumble something.

Grinning and happy at the chance for something to tease James about later, Sirius jumped off his bed and inched closer to James.

"What is he saying?" Peter Pettigrew asked.

The three boys inched closer to James in order to hear him.

"I accept your nomination as president of Hogsmeade." James mumbled to the floor.

"What?" Sirius asked, suppressing a chuckle.

"He has high hopes." Remus said with a small chuckle. Trying not to make noise, they shuffled closer to James again. "Though I think it's only a dream."

"Pity," Sirius began, "I wouldn't mind being president of Hogsmeade."

"Thank you First Lady," James was saying, "I WOULD like a flaming iguana as my secretary."

Sirius clapped his hand to his mouth to stifle his laughter. Remus looked bewildered while Peter bore an expression that looked like he was about to laugh too, though he was as confused as Remus.

"As my first decree, I sign a Quidditch team." James had somehow slid a few inches closer to the floor as he spoke. "The Fighting House Elves of Hogsmeade."

At this, Remus had to seize a nearby pillow and shove it in Sirius's face to keep him from laughing.

"Actual House Elves please."

"Ew, he's drooling!"

"Shush!"

"How do cookies work?" James asked.

"Very hard." Sirius said, doubled up in silent laughter.

"I shall create a new game," President Potter said, "Exploding Snape. No, of course it isn't like Exploding Snap. The first person to blow up Severus Snape wins."

Sirius grinned. "Oh I like the sound of that. Please say he can make it an actual game."

Remus glared at Sirius. "I suppose you would like it. But blow Snape up and you'll be expelled."

Sirius shrugged. "I think it'd be worth it."

"Slytherin hunting Saturdays... three hours of wheat... only blueberries please."

James's sentences were becoming disjointed nonsense. Then it happened. He hit the floor with a loud _wham!_

"Wha happen?" James asked, blinking and trying to figure out why everything looked fuzzy.

"Are you OK?" Remus asked. "That sounded, and looked, pretty painful."

"Fine, fine." James put on his glasses and got to his feet, dusting himself off, unaware that Remus, Sirius, and Peter were trying to look innocent and hide any small trace of laughter as they headed to their own beds.

"Good night, you lot." James said, crawled back into his own bed.

"'Nighty night, President Potter." Sirius said with a snicker.

Looking confused, James stared at Sirius for a moment before falling asleep again, and returning to his duties as Hogsmeade president.


	2. Sirius Black

Talking In Our Sleep

**Note: Seems like Sirius was the most requested. Unless I counted wrong. Who next I wonder?**

Chapter 2: Sirius Black

Sirius Black was laying fast asleep with his head on his arms in History of Magic. The most boring of classes was the best place to catch a catnap.

Or a dognap in his case.

He rubbed his head against his arms, seemingly trying to nuzzle into his arms. Smacking his lips, Sirius murmured, "That's nice, mister goose."

"Mister goose?" James asked, having half listened to Binns, the other half of his attention on Sirius. He scratched "mister goose" out with his quill and stared at Sirius.

"No, you have the last one. I dislike strawberry."

James rolled his eyes. He decided it would be best to ignore Sirius. Until Sirius said "Can you float in pudding?"

James stared. "Can you float in pudding?" he whispered, his eyebrows nearly meeting in confusion. What on earth was Sirius dreaming about?

Did he really want to know?

"Raspberry gelatin." Sirius murmured, smacking his lips. "Not as good as gooseberry. Yes I'm going to eat you mister goose!"

Dropping his quill, James turned so he could stare intently at Sirius now. He shook his head slightly to make sure he was hearing him right.

"What do you mean you don't make gooseberry out of a goose and berries?" Sirius asked, apparently to his goose friend. "You're lying!"

Getting hit by an idea, James leaned over and whispered, "What if I'm not? What if gooseberry is actually made from dogs?"

"How dare you accuse such things?" Sirius sounded somewhat offended by James's comment. Or maybe it was something mister goose had said in his dream.

"Bloody goose." Sirius grumbled. "I'd rather be friends with an oak tree!"

"Oak trees are very judgmental." James whispered.

"So are rotten geese!"

James was trying not to laugh at Sirius, who started making insulting honking noises towards mister goose.

"Would you shush?" James whispered, trying to make sure Sirius did not wake the sleeping students. Or drew Binns's attention. Which really wasn't likely.

"You don't like me insulting your mother?" Sirius asked. He honked again but became quiet.

"Phew!" James breathed a sigh of relief. Sirius's honking had seemed pretty loud.

James reluctantly returned back to his notes. Sirius began mumbling his his sleep and occasionally slapping his hand towards James in a sleepy manner.

"I am not a bloody goose!" James whispered.

"Have at you, sir!" Sirius swung his arm just as James moved. Sirius topped from his chair and landed face first on the floor.

Laughing James said, "Oh it's nice to see you up. It's time for lunch and I didn't want you to miss it."


	3. Peter Pettigrew

Talking In Our Sleep

**Note: OK, who really wants to see the girls in this? And yes we're doing Peter, because it's always great to have a laugh at him. Though I do apologize for this being a bit short. I've got some longer ones in mind. Like Lily... maybe Snape's too...**

Chapter 3: Peter Pettigrew

It was quiet in the boys' dorm that night. Aside from the wind blowing outside, no sound could be heard.

That is until Peter Pettigrew started to sniffle in his sleep.

"But Professor," he mumbled, "you can't transfigure a leech into an ostrich. That's just impossible. It's too small and, and, and..." here he trailed off into in a long rant that was mumbled and half spoken into his pillow.

His other fellow Marauders were all asleep. None of them were talking. Though of course he did not realize it.

"But I can't fly!" Peter whined. "I can't fly! Why don't you magically light the candles in the Great Hall?" A short pause. "Lines?" he squeaked. "I didn't give you sass Professor, honest! I was just suggesting..."

Rolling over, Peter was now bunched into a little ball, about to topple off his bed.

"But Professor!" he whimpered again.

With a sigh, James sat up in his bed and glared at the lump that was Peter. He should be sleeping, not having to hear something he heard constantly throughout the day.

His glaring seemed to have worked, for Peter was quiet. With a sigh, James snuggled under his blankets in an attempt to get warm. And to block out the noise Peter was making.

Sighing peacefully, James was just about to nod off again when he heard Peter nearly yell, "No, not a broom! Anything but that!"

With a loud groan of annoyance, James sat up and heaved his pillow at Peter. Peter awoke with a start.

"Would you please shut up? I want to sleep, not listen to something I'm going to wind up hearing all day."

Peter winced and peered at James nervously while trying to hide under his blankets. "Sorry Prongs," Peter began, "just a – just a nightmare I guess."

"Your life is a nightmare Peter." James sighed. "Now hand me my pillow!"

Timidly, Peter tossed James his pillow. He watched as James punched at it once, twice, three times, and settled down to sleep.

But before James dozed off, he said, "Peter, we're going to make you fly tomorrow for that. And if you break my broom you're getting me a new one."

Peter did not sleep for the rest of the night.


	4. Severus Snape

Talking In Our Sleep

**Notes: OK I will bring the girls in. They'll be perfect for Lily's, and possibly Moony's as well.**

**Snape's makes me giggle!**

Chapter 4: Severus Snape

Down in the Slytherin dorms, Severus Snape was resting with the rest of the male fifth years. Though at the moment he was the only one asleep. The rest were either dozing or thumbing through several various wizarding magazines.

Snape mumbled in his sleep and rolled over, his back to the rest of them. "Two spoons of scarab beetles." he mumbled.

He rubbed his face against his pillow and continued to murmur what sounded like potions instructions.

"Add hellebore, stir clockwise."

The closest Slythering to him, a tall, gangly thing called Hector, shook his head. "Snape seems to enjoy his potions." he said conversationally, turning the page of his magazine.

"He reciting instructions in his sleep again?"

"Yeah."

The second boy to speak rolled his eyes.

"Now drink it." Snape murmured, his hand curling under his pillow.

"I doubt I'd drink anything Snape makes."

The other boys chuckled. Though Snape did not care what they were saying. He was asleep, of course! That and his dreams seemed to be going well for him. They could not see it but he was smiling.

He seemed to have quieted, so the others resumed to their leisure. Hector tossed his magazine aside and stretched out on his bed, staring at the ceiling. "I suppose you lot have been worse in your sleep."

Another boy, this one with long black hair and dark green eyes said, "Oh? Come now, you've had the worst, Hector. Talking about vanilla ice cream bandits."

Hector got to his feet, picking up his wand from his bedside table as went. "And you, Marcus?" he asked. "Bloody penguins and Quidditch matches!"

A soft sigh interrupted the two boys' quarrel. Staring disgustedly at Snape, Hector lowered his wand. "At least your bed isn't closest to his." he said to Marcus before heading back to his own bed. He changed into his pajamas and settled down under the blankets.

And he was the only one to hear Snape murmur a certain Muggleborn's name.

The was a flash and bang and Snape was wide away now, hanging upside down. "What was that for?" he asked, his cheeks flushing in anger.

"What the bloody hell are you doing, dreaming about Muggleborns? Especially that horrid Lily Evans."

"Now, now, Hector. She's somewhat attractive for a Mudblood."

If possible, Snape's cheeks grew darker, though he was very quick to mask it in anger. "I was dreaming of various ways to hex and poison her!" he shouted. "Now let me down!"

Instead of depositing Snape on his bed, Hector lazily flicked his wand. Snape hit the floor with a crash.

Grumbling, Snape pulled himself onto his bed and quickly drew the hangings. Hector was his least favorite of roommates and least likely to believe Snape's lie.

But he really did not care. It only took a few minutes for Snape to get back to sleep. Only this time he began to murmur, "Snape... Snape... Severus Snape..."


	5. Lily Evans

Talking In Our Sleep

**Note: Actually, I think we all know what Gen's dream would be about. And no... surely I'm not skipping Remus!**

Chapter 5: Lily Evans

Lily Evans and her fellow Gryffindor girls were sitting around the library late one evening. She had a Transfiguration essay to do before the morning and so far she was about a half a foot short. Sighing, she reached for another book.

Yawning, she opened the book to a random page and tried to read it. The print blurred. Rubbing her eyes, Lily decided it might be best to rest her eyes for a moment. Laying her head on her arms, she nodded off within seconds.

"Should we wake her up?" Celeste Helms asked, holding a stack of books over the table, ready to drop it if she was given the word.

"Leave her alone." Marci Morrow sank down in a chair next to Lily. "She's been tired. So let's let her nap."

"But she needs that essay done before McGonagall's class." Gwendolyn Moore pointed out.

It seemed as though their talking was a bother to Lily. She mumbled something that sounded a bit like "Cut it out."

"Sorry." Marci whispered. Shaking her head slightly, she returned to her own essay.

"You're supposed to be quiet in a library anyway." Gwendolyn, or Gen as she was more commonly called, said, her blue eyes glittering.

"We know what you want to do in a library." Celeste said, tossing her head so that her brown hair flew over her shoulder.

Rolling her eyes, Gen hopped up on the nearest table. The three girls were silent, so silent that they could hear Lily's soft murmurs.

"Don't want to play. Quidditch is for gits." Lily murmured into her arms. "No, can't make me."

Celeste and Gen were trying to stifle their giggles. Even Marci had cracked a tiny smile. They all knew that Lily Evans and Quidditch did not mix.

"Would you leave me alone?" Lily mumbled.

"Celeste, leave her alone." Gen said, not looking up from her book.

"I didn't do it!"

"Stupid annoying Potter." Lily mumbled.

"Oooh."

"Give it to him, Lily." Marci said, thumbing through her book. She was smiling vaguely. Marci was not the biggest fan of James Potter, though she did not dislike him as much as Lily did.

Or so it seemed.

"Don't fancy... don't want a ride!" Lily sounded somewhat angry now, which caused Marci to edge away from her.

"Don't take one then!" Celeste told her.

"Celeste, leave her alone. I don't think you're supposed to prompt people in their dreams."

"But it's fun!"

She grabbed a stack of books and held them near Lily's head, silently threatening to drop them.

And she actually did when Lily murmured, "Maybe I do fancy you a bit, Potter."

Lily jumped up with a start, sending books, quills, and parchment flying all over the place. "What was that about?" she demanded, rounding on Celeste, who tried her best to look innocent.

"You said you fancy James Potter!" Celeste hissed.

Lily looked surprised, then turned to Gen and Marci, both of whom nodded. "You did say it. Though you were sleeping." Marci said sheepishly.

"Did... did anyone else hear that?" Lily asked, looking horrified.

"Well Potter and Black were here..." Celeste began. Then she smiled as Lily paled. "But they left before they heard you. I don't think they even saw us. So don't worry about it."

"You won't tell will you?" Lily asked, her green eyes pleading.

"We promise." The other girls wore smiled of innocence. So Lily believed them. And figured she needed to watch where she decided to take a nap next time.


	6. Professor Slughorn

Talking In Our Sleep

**Note: I wasn't so sure of who to do in this chapter. So I went with Horace Slughorn. Sorry about that.**

Chapter 6: Professor Slughorn

Amid lavish pillows and silk sheets, Professor Horace Slughorn was ready for bed. Making sure he was as comfortable as he could be, which was not a hard task in his soft, silky bed, Slughorn fell fast asleep.

He was in such a deep sleep he did not hear the small House Elf as it tiptoed into his room to straighten up.

As the tiny elf bent to pick up an empty box that used to house crystallized pineapple, she heard him mumbled, "Ah, pineapple. Thank you my good sir."

The little elf paused, her little fingers clutching the box. She was unsure of what the professor was talking about. Was he talking to her?

Seemingly frozen in place, she stood still, listening.

Slughorn was making smacking noises in his sleep, as though he were actually eating the crystal pineapples of his dreams. "Oho!" he said brightly, "that's a very large piece!"

The elf flattened her ears, confused even more. Was there something wrong with Professor Slughorn perhaps? Should she fetch the Headmaster?

"Ah, very large crystallized pineapple, how I do love you." Slughorn murmured happily. "Oh... what's this? You can talk?"

Timidly, still clutching the empty box, the elf took a few steps towards the bed. Why the professor was asleep! And... talking about crystallized pineapples?

Shaking her head, the elf resumed clearing up the room.

"I would imagine loads of wizards would love to speak to you, talking pineapple." Slughorn was saying. "How do you know my name?"

As the elf reached for an empty potion flask, she heard him said, "What? You want to... to eat me? Why ever would you want to eat me? I've done nothing to you!"

Again the elf folded her ears. Professor Slughorn seemed very troubled. Maybe telling Madame Pomfrey might be in her best interest.

As the elf headed to the door, she heard Slughorn speak again. Due to curiosity, she stopped to listen.

"I ate your children? Well they were very delicious you see and... you didn't need to hear that? But you asked me why I had eaten your children!"

The House Elf's ears were completely flat on her head now. Maybe he was ill? Why else would anyone dream of having a giant crystallized pineapple wanting to eat you?

"But certainly, pineapple, if you were me, you would eat all the crystallized pineapples you can! They're very, very good. Have you tried any? Oh, I see. No I did not assume you were a cannibal."

Maybe it would be best if the elf just left. As she opened the door, she heard Slughorn say "Nooo! Noo I promise you I won't be tasty! Please don't! Noooo!"

Professor Slughorn awoke with a start. He glanced around the room, taking in its half-clean state and open door. Vaguely he thought he heard the sound of a House Elf racing off down the hall.

"Well at least it's not a giant crystallized pineapple." he said, absently reaching into a box of the candy beside his bed and popped a piece of the crystallized fruit in his mouth before going back to sleep.

As for the elf, well she decided that she would have to trade tasks with someone. Cleaning Professor Slughorn's room no longer appealed to her.


	7. Regulus Black

Talking In Our Sleep

**Note: I wonder if ghosts sleep. And if they talk.**

**And I was going to do Dumbledore, I really was, but I had the idea to do my Reggie first.**

Chapter 7: Regulus Black

The Slytherin Common Room was empty. All the lights were extinguished. Save for one fourth year's wandlight. He had lit his wand earlier but for some reason had fallen asleep at a table in the Common Room.

Regulus Black was sleeping, using a copy of _1001 Magical Herbs and Fungi _as his pillow.

At the sound of someone padding down the stairs, he stirred, mumbling.

"No, Mum, I won't... Muggle hunting..."

The tiny first year paused at the bottom of the stairs, letting his eyes adjust to the dim. He then saw Regulus's lit wand and timidly made his way over to the older boy.

And saw his book laying under him, a tiny pool of drool in the center of it.

Timid for a Slytherin, the boy tugged at Regulus's robe.

"Excuse me, I need my book."

Regulus swatted his hand at the boy, saying, "Go away Kreacher. I don't need a bath."

The boy scowled. "I'm not going to give you a bath. I just want my book!"

"Go bother Sirius, Kreacher!"

"I am not a creature! Give me my book!"

The younger boy tugged again. The older boy did not move. Scowling deeper, the younger boy began to think of a way to get his book. He had not practiced Summoning spells. And besides, it seemed as though this older boy would not budge.

The first year reached under Regulus, his little fingers grasping the cover of his book. He tried to tug.

"Go away! I can't wait until Mum beheads you!"

In shock, the first year released his grip, going flying across the Common Room.

"I know our House was cruel, but beheadings?" Shaking his head, the younger student was tempted to give up his book and go back to bed. But he had neglected an essay and NEEDED that book!

Rolling up the sleeves of his robes, he marched back over to Regulus. Grabbing the cover again, he heaved with all his might. Yet again he went flying across the Common Room, but this time was clutching his book in victory.

Or at least he felt victorious until he was hanging a few feet in the air, upside-down.

"My God you first years are courageous." Regulus said, sending the boy crashing to the floor. "Only Gryffindors are supposed to be that brave."

In a huff, Regulus headed upstairs to his own bed.

Shaking his head, the first year held fast to his book. Then he glanced at the way Regulus had went, sticking his tongue out in that general direction.


	8. Professor Flitwick

Talking In Our Sleep

Chapter 8: Professor Flitwick

After a long day of teaching students the Engorgement Charm, and having most of them fail, Professor Flitwick was tired. Very, very tired.

He crawled into his bed and was out like a light in seconds.

But his dreams were not as peaceful as his sleep. "No," he mumbled, twitching slightly, "no, go away!"

Grumbling, he scrunched under the blankets, trying to get away from whatever was frightening him in his dream.

"Go away!" he whimpered. Tucking himself up in a ball, the tiny Professor seemed to be trying to keep himself safe.

His door creaked open. One of the bunnies that his students were supposed to enlarge hopped into the room. It cocked its head, one ear flopping in its face.

"Go away giant bunny!"

The rabbit seemed to understand the word 'bunny'. It hopped closer to the Charms professor's bed, twitching its nose as it did.

"Go away giant bunny! I'm not a carrot!"

The rabbit popped up on its back feet, placing its front paws on the bed. The tiny man sure didn't SMELL like a giant carrot. But the rabbit was kind of hungry. And did think he could possibly be lying. With a bit of an effort, the bunny hopped onto the bed.

It inched closer to Professor Flitwick.

But the professor did not know that there was an intruder in his bed.

"Leave me alone, rabbit!" he whimpered. "I haven't done anything to you! I don't have carrots! I don't even like them!"

The loose bunny was not near Flitwick's head. It sniffed him. It then determined that he was, in fact, NOT a giant carrot.

So much for that.

But the rabbit soon interested itself with Flitwick's pillow. It began to chew on it.

It was at that moment that Flitwick let out a wail and awoke with a start.

And found himself face-to-face with a bunny, which was snacking on his pillow.

"Bunny!" he yelped, trying to get away from his bunny tormentor. He lost a few precious seconds while he was tangled in his blankets and sheets. But the professor raced from the room.

And it did not seem like he would be going back in there.


	9. Mister Filch

Talking In Our Sleep

**Notes: Ugh, I've been so, so sick! I'm so sorry for the lack of anything moving these past... several... days. I intend to update this and Double Crossers and maybe Scattered. If not, I'll get to Scattered tomorrow.**

**And I was going to do Remus, but then Filch popped up in my head. Enjoy!**

Chapter 9: Mister Filch

James Potter was wandering around the halls of Hogwarts underneath his Invisibility Cloak. Of course he was up to no good, and did not need to be spotted, but it seemed as though Filch was not going to mess with James.

For as James rounded a corner, he spotted Filch, fast asleep and snoring loudly in a car.

Snickering, James stepped a bit closer. "Sleeping on the job?" he whispered.

"Not a job, don't pay me enough." Filch grumbled.

"Aw, but you'd never say that to Dumbledore, now would you?"

"Bloody Headmaster, thinks he's the king of the school. Someone needs to put him in his place."

James raised an eyebrow. He never expected that from Filch. But it was nice blackmail fodder.

"Why don't you tell him that, Filch?"

Filch snorted in his sleep and jerked his head. He nearly tipped out of his chair with that action. "Because he'd sack me on the spot. And I do enjoy handing out punishments, even if I can't whip students raw like they deserve."

'Always with the whipping.' James thought. 'Man, he's got an issue with whips!'

James was about to leave when he heard Filch mumble something in his sleep. Leaning closer, he asked, "What was that?"

Filch repeated himself, but all James understood was something about mops.

"Mops? What about mops?"

Filch went on a sleeping rant and James shook his head, chuckling. He made his way around the sleeping Filch and tried to make his way to Gryffindor Tower but Filch stopped him.

"Meow." Filch said in his sleep. James stopped mid-step and turned around to face the chair.

"Meow?" James asked silently, his eyebrows meeting in confusion. "Filch, you have problems." he told the sleeping man.

"I don't have problems," Filch mumbled, his chin now resting on his chest, "everyone else has problems. I'm the only normal person in this bloody castle."

"A Squib in a magical school... yeah, you're normal." James said, rolling his eyes.

"Freaks with their Fanged Frisbees, no respect for ancient paintings, Stink Pellets and Dungbombs. Children, feh!"

"Never reproduce, Filch." James said with a smile as he turned to go to bed. As he did, he "accidentally" caught Filch's chair and sent the Squib flying.

All the noise Filch made allowed James to rush down the hall, chuckling to himself.

Filch disentangled himself from his chair and glanced around. Of course, seeing nothing, he suspected only one person. Or ghost. "PEEVES!" Filch spat.

Oh well. It seemed the Squib had learned his lesson about sleeping in the middle of hallways.


	10. Remus Lupin

Talking In Our Sleep

**Note: OK, finally Remus! I've been wanting to write his for a while now but then it's like "No, let's do this one first." Or before I forgot the other one. **

**I will write Madame Pince soon, and maybe Dumbledore and McGonagall too. Anyone else?**

**And who wants to see James run for president of Hogsmeade? **

Chapter 10: Remus Lupin

Charms was tiresome. Well, if you were running around the woods and Hogsmeade the entire night before as a werewolf, it was tiresome.

Remus had not even wanted to go to classes, but the Hospital Wing was not an enjoyable place to be.

So he had dragged himself to class. But could not pay attention and wound up resting his head on his desk. A few moments later, and he was fast asleep.

"Not funny." he mumbled, unaware that Gen was seated beside him. "Stop teasing me." She paused in the middle of her own spell, annoying the toad she was working with. It hopped off her desk but she paid it no mind as she cocked her head to listen to Remus.

Lily noticed that Gen was paying no mind to her classwork and soon stopped as well.

"Why aren't you working?" Lily asked.

Gen put her finger to her lips and inclined her head to Remus.

Lily peered around Gen's shoulder and shook her head. "Is he sleeping? Through this chaos?"

"Some people have that gift."

The two girls stifled their giggles. "What's he saying?" Lily asked, leaning over Gen to try to hear what Remus was saying.

"Don't want to," Remus was mumbling, "wouldn't be fair. Too messy."

The two girls exchanged confused looks. "What's too messy?"

"Probably their dorm."

Remus fussed and rubbed his cheek against his arm.

Gen glanced at Lily. "Should we wake him up?"

Lily shook her head. "Looks like he could use the sleep for me." She glanced around the classroom and added, "And looks like we should be getting back to work."

"Yeah..." Gen said absently.

Rolling her eyes, Lily resumed her own spellwork.

"But I can't... stupid monster..."

Gen glanced at Remus again. He seemed to be having an argument with someone in his sleep. Maybe she should wake him...

"Stupid really..." Remus was saying, "... who'd want to...?"

"Remus?" Gen asked softly, placing her hand on his shoulder. Gingerly, she shook him. "Remus, wake up."

"Mmm..." Remus blinked, then focused on Gen.

"Everything OK?" she asked, looking concerned. "You sounded like you were having a bad dream."

Remus sat up and rubbed his face. "Yeah... bad dream..." he mumbled.

"You want to talk about it?"

For some reason, Remus felt his cheeks grow slightly warm. "No, every thing's OK. Like you said, it was just a bad dream."


	11. Madame Pince

Talking In Our Sleep

**Note: Hmm, wonder what Madame Pomfrey would dream of?**

Chapter 11: Madame Pince

The Hogwarts librarian was busy, dusting the shelves of her precious books. She had just closed the library and was doing a quick clean up.

Shaking her head as she picked up discarded sweet wrappers, she muttered something about "no respect".

Somewhat tired, she sank back down at her desk. She had a few books to catalog, but she was somewhat sleepy. And maybe it wouldn't hurt much to rest her head for a few minutes.

She quickly nodded off.

Madame Pince smiled slightly in her sleep. "Books upon books upon books." she murmured. It seemed she was lost in a world of books. And she was pretty pleased with that!

"How dare someone not put these in order!" she gasped. "It's just... just... just plain terrible!"

Unfortunately for her, who was to float by but Peeves, the school poltergeist?

Peeves watched her for a moment, wondering whether or not he should just let her sleep.

Of course, this was Peeves! He wasn't going to let her sleep!

He decided to start out small. Grabbing a nearby book, he began to tear pages from it. The tearing sound caused Madame Pince to stir in her sleep, but she did not wake up.

"Ungrateful, selfish, spoiled children!" she spat in her sleep.

Peeves cackled to himself. Wadding up the pages he had torn out of the book, he began to toss them at her.

"No..." she groaned, "no... don't throw books!"

"Oh that's not a bad idea!" Peeves said with a cackle, soaring over to the nearby shelves.

"It's inhuman!"

"Books aren't human!" Peeves reminded her, seizing an armful of books from the shelf. Gleefully, he began tossing them in every single way he could imagine.

Madame Pince began to fuss in her sleep, saying, "What is wrong with you? You can't throw books!"

"It's easy!" There was a shattering sound as one of Peeve's books broke a nearby lantern. He was getting somewhat annoyed though. She had not woke up yet!

Deciding there was only one thing to do, Peeves floated to the nearest shelf with the heaviest of books. "Oops..." he began, doing what he does best and tilting the shelf over.

It hit the floor with a loud, echoing crash.

"DON'T TOUCH MY BOOKS!" Shooting up in her seat, Madame Pince glanced around. "YOU!" she said, drawing her wand. "I thought the Headmaster told you that you cannot come into the library ever again!"

"Peevesy did nothing!" Soaring out the library, Peeves began to cackle loudly.

Sighing, Madame Pince swished her wand. The fallen books picked themselves up, and the torn books mended themselves. Righting the shelf, she let the books fly into their proper place.

And she would have a word with Professor Dumbledore in the morning.


	12. Professor McGonagall

Talking In Our Sleep

**Note: I've been being downright lazy this week. I will try to get this updated and maybe something else.**

Chapter 12: Professor McGonagall

It had been a long day for Minerva McGonagall and she was ready to go to bed. Several students, unnamed but she had a general idea of whom, decided it would have been "fun" to flood the Prefects' bathroom.

From what she knew, Filch was still cleaning the hall.

And frankly, she thought with the tiniest hint of a smile, he could do it himself.

As she settled into bed, McGonagall fell asleep with the thoughts of soapy foam in her head.

As she rolled over, her nose twitched in her sleep. "Is that... catnip you have there?" A slight pause, followed. Then she asked, "Well are you going to share?"

Stretching in a very feline-like manner, McGonagall mumbled something into her pillow.

"No I don't chase rats, thank you." she said. "I'm very dignified."

Another pause. Then she scoffed. "How dare you?"

"... People accusing me of such things when they themselves -- !"

Huffing, she rolled over, knocking her pillow off the bed in the process. Apparently she had had enough with her dream argument.

"Detention! A month's worth of detention for you!" Another pause, then a smirk from McGonagall. "I am a teacher, and I can do that. I don't hand detention out likes free sweets at Honeyduke's, but I do enjoy giving them."

She seemed to be thinking for a moment. "You will write lines.. while scrubbing the bedpans without magic and polishing the trophies in the trophy case! There, that should cover everything."

She seemed to snuggle up in her blankets, now content with her super detention. But at that moment, her door banged open and a dripping wet Filch stood in the doorway.

McGonagall opened one eye lazily. "What is it, Filch?" she asked.

"If you would, professor, please attend to your out-of-bed first years. They're in -- "

McGonagall scowled. "What have you done to harass them now?" she demanded, bound and determined not to get out of her warm bed for something so trivial.

Unless Filch had harassed the poor things again. Then she'd be needed.

"Escort them to Gryffindor Tower. I'm sure first years mean no harm."

"But -- "

Swishing her blankets McGonagall settled more into her bed, mumbling about Squibs and "How they just can't seem to do anything themselves."


	13. Gwendolyn Moore

Talking In Our Sleep

**Note: I felt compelled to do Gen's this chapter. I do hope it's funny. Or at least liked. And I am taking requests for the next chapter. And maybe I'll let someone write a chapter of their own.**

Chapter 13: Gwendolyn Moore

History of Magic was a tiring class. And Gen Moore usually found it the perfect place to nap. No one noticed if you did. In fact, most of the class slept.

But that morning she figured she might as well try to take notes. There was no telling when or if Lily would continue to let her read the notes she had taken.

_Goblin Rebellio _was all she had written though. The rest of her parchment had a large, light blue streak on it. She had not managed to stay awake long enough to even finish the title of her notes.

And Sirius and James noticed this.

Sirius took the empty seat behind her and James sat beside her. They tried to look innocent, in case one of the few, very very few, people taking notes happened to notice them.

Sirius leaned across the desk between them and began to tug at Gen's hair.

"Bloody birds, not useful at all." Gen mumbled.

"She called me a bird?" Sirius whispered, raising an eyebrow.

"Sounds like it." James said. He grabbed a quill and began to tickle Gen with it. She jerked away from him and mumbled something about cheeky little squirrels.

"Squirrels aren't cheeky, Gen." James said, trying not to laugh at her.

"And what do you know?" she asked. For a moment, James and Sirius did not think she was sleeping. But her breathing was soft and even, and she seemed to be resting as comfortably as someone could when using a desk for their bed.

James, bored, dipped the quill he had taken into her ink pot and began to doodle on her arm.

Every now and then she would try to pull her arm away from him but he had a firm grip on her. "Mmm, stop it. Not funny." she mumbled.

"It's funny." James argued, filling in his pale blue Snitch. "And cute. It matches your eyes."

"Isn't that what girls want anyway?" Sirius asked. James shrugged. The two started to laugh, but quickly stifled it so not to wake Gen up.

Sirius had taken out his wand and was blowing little puffs of air in Gen's hair.

"I don't want to play Quidditch today. It's so hard to maneuver through rain. I didn't even know it could rain gravy."

"Rain gravy? What sort of nonsense have you been reading?" James asked, taking to drawing random squiggles on Gen's arm.

"I heard it from your mother." she grumbled. She tried to pull her arm away from him and nearly toppled out of her seat. Sirius and James reached out to steady her before she did. "She said you invented a chocolate broomstick as well."

"Those would melt." James said. "Though that would be one way to get Remus on a broom."

"She's loopy." James said, shaking his head and grinning.

Sirius sat on top of the desk separating him and Gen and nodded. He began to swing his feet as Gen launched into a rant about bewitching balls during a Quidditch match.

Eventually one of Sirius's kicks hit its mark. Sort of.

Gen shot up and jabbed Sirius in the leg with her quill. "You can't even leave me alone in my sleep!" she hissed. "Git!"

Wincing, Sirius pulled her quill out of his leg. "Manic depressive witches... who needs them?" he asked.


	14. Hagrid

Talking In Our Sleep

**Note: I intend to get back on schedule soon. I've been so sick these past several days, in fact my mouth is still oozing pus and infection. But I feel a lot better so everything should get an update within these next few days.**

**Also taking suggestions on a chapter fic to write. I want to do something with Gen and Snape having a nice little run-in with Petunia. Maybe something about her being wanted by the Death Eaters or something. **

**Anyway, post something you'd like to see. Maybe even a Gen/Sirius. ;)**

**And I know Fang should be like ancient or even dead in Harry's time. But come on! He's magic, OK?**

Chapter 14: Hagrid

Rubeus Hagrid headed to bed. He had a long and tiring day trying to catch an injured unicorn and take care of several bowtruckles that got injured in the chase.

He muttered a good night to his boarhound, Fang, and settled into bed.

Hagrid grunted as he rolled over, but he was fast asleep. Smacking his lips, he muttered, "Bonjour, je suis un pélican."

Fang whimpered. Hagrid was talking funny. Of course, he did not understand what he was saying. But Fang whimpered anyway and placed a paw on Hagrid's bed.

"Pouvez-vous passer le fromage?" Hagrid asked to no on in particular.

Fang bounced off the bed and raced to the door, pawing at it wildly. How he wished he could open it and get Hagrid help!

Hagrid did not stir. Instead he chuckled, and in a proper tone asked, "Oh, you're prefer a game of cards? Well I suppose we can manage that."

Hagrid began to frown in his sleep. "No, not that sort of cards." he said. "No, I cannot play Rummy! I don't even know what Rummy is!"

Fang whined and raced back to the bed. He managed to grab Hagrid's sleeve in his mouth and began to tug. Though Hagrid still did not budge.

Returning to his "funny talk", Hagrid said, "Je ne veux pas jouer. Fraude ailleurs!"

Positively wailing now, Fang bit into Hagrid's finger. The half-giant awoke with a start.

"Ge' off me you dopey dog! Wha's wrong with ya anyway?"

Barking happily, Fang pounced on Hagrid and began to lick his face. Hagrid chuckled and patted Fang, all biting forgotten.

"How abou' breakfast then? It's a bit early, but we'll get summat."


	15. Giant Squid!

Talking in Our Sleep

**Note: I realize my French was probably wrong. Hagrid talking French was supposed to be a play on the fact that he can't really talk right in person, you know?**

**Anyway, I found myself wondering if I should do a ghost this chapter. It's like "Do ghosts sleep? Do they?" Then I decided to go in a different direction.**

**I hope you guys like this chapter. Even though the Giant Squid cannot talk. And squids might not sleep either.**

**And if you want to write your own chapter, well start sending them in, OK? My email should be on my profile. If not, my messenger is.**

Chapter 15: Giant Squid!

It was a very calm, peaceful, warm and sunny morning. And the giant squid in the lake of Hogwarts was taking advantage of that, floating lazily in the shallows.

A few first years had taken spots near the squid and were throwing bits of their toast to it. It blinked lazily. The warmth of the water was making it feel so sleepy.

"Is it asleep?" one of the first years asked. He tossed a bit of toast in the water, where it floated right by the squid.

"Do squids sleep?" another boy asked.

They stared at the squid. It LOOKED like it was asleep. It was just floating there, after all.

"Is it... dead?" a third boy asked.

The three first years exchanged looks. If it were dead, they might get in trouble for being nearby. They turned to head back to the castle, but a movement behind them caused them to turn back around.

One tentacle was floating out of the water, like the squid was waving to them.

"Hey, it's OK!"

The boys raced back to the edges of the water, but the tentacle had vanished back under. They waited a few more minutes, but the squid was still sleeping.

"Let's go back. I guess we should be working on our homework."

As the boys took a few steps away, a big glob of mud hit the middle one right in the head.

"HEY!"

The three turned around, expecting to see an older student laughing at them. But they did not see that. Instead they saw a tentacle resting on the muddy ground near the lake.

"Squid!"

"It's playing tricks on us!"

"It's worse than Peeves!" the muddy boy said with a wail. He stamped his foot and pulled his wand out of his robes. He was not sure what hex he wanted to use, but the squid deserved it!

Before he could say any spell that came to mind, a wall of water rose up and fell over the three boys. Spitting water and shaking their wet hair out of their faces, they wondered what had happened.

Until the tallest of the boys started to laugh. "It rolled over!" he said, pointing to the squid.

"How can you tell?"

But upon closer inspection, it seemed that the squid had indeed rolled over, which was what caused the wall of water that drenched them.

"Squids are weird!" The boy that had had the mud flung on him stomped back to the castle, grumbling about underwater creatures and how rude they could be.

The other two boys exchanged looks, then started to laugh. It seemed to them that the squid had issues.

"Maybe Madame Pomfrey can fix its problems."

Still laughing, they headed back to the castle in order to let the squid finish its nap.


	16. Professor Black

Talking in Our Sleep

**Note: I am adding this note in this fic since it's my most-read at the moment. Tomorrow I will FINALLY be getting my hands on a copy of Crisis Core. So if I start neglecting things again, that's why. But I do intend to tear myself away from it long enough to do my regular Internet actives. Just not as long.**

**Oh, and ah, about this... I was thinking... if they're talking in their sleep, how about a fic on their worst nightmare? I think we all know what Sirius's would be!**

**Chapter dedicated to lassie1994, thanks for the idea! And agreeing with me about who!**

Chapter 16: Professor Black

Sirius Black found himself in the Headmaster's office. Though Dumbledore was not yet around. McGonagall, livid with him, had told him to wait. And not budge from the chair across from Dumbledore's desk.

An order that Sirius ignored the moment McGonagall had left the room.

Sirius had expected his great-great-grandfather's portrait to start scolding him, but when he turned to face Phineas Nigellus Black's portrait, he saw his great-great-grandfather was fast asleep.

"Is he faking?" Sirius asked no one in particular.

"No dearie, it seems for once he isn't." said the witch whose portrait hung on the wall next to Phineas's.

"You're joking! Usually Phineas never passes up the chance to fuss at me for winding up in here!"

Sirius then had an idea. He pulled the chair over to the wall and stood on it so he was eye level with Phineas. Upon closer inspection, it seemed Phineas WAS asleep.

'This might be fun...' Sirius thought with a grin. 'If Dumbledore doesn't come in anytime soon that is.'

"Phineas!" Sirius whispered.

Phineas jerked his head and mumbled, "I don't feel like dealing with ungrateful students. You do it."

"Phineas, you're a former Headmaster! I hope that's not the way you handled things."

"I'm very busy in my office." Phineas mumbled.

"Busy doing what?" Sirius asked. When Phineas's only answer was to drool a little bit, Sirius pulled out his wand, which got some muffled laughter from the portraits of Headmasters and Headmistresses that were awake.

He tapped the portrait once. Phineas and his chair were turned upside-down in the frame. Despite this fact, Phineas slept on, muttering something about "the mess that owls cause."

"He can sleep through that?" Sirius asked.

"Oh yes. It seems when he's actually asleep, he stays that way."

Sirius shrugged. Using his wand as a quill, he began to doodle a small bird on the portrait. It took to life and immediately rested on Phineas's head. Phineas had be put upright again by Sirius.

The bird studied Phineas for a moment before it began pecking at his head.

"Stop it, bloody first years." Phineas mumbled. "The bane of the entire school. QUIT IT!"

Sirius chuckled. "No wonder you were disliked."

The witch whose portrait was next to Phineas giggled. "Oh he was rather disliked, I'll admit. But this is really only a tiny taste. He was a terrible Headmaster."

"Unfortunately," Sirius said, chasing the bird away with his wand, "my family seems to think he was the best Headmaster."

The witch nodded in an understanding manner.

Once the bird was gone, it seemed as though Phineas relaxed a bit. He had settled down in his chair and had sighed contently.

"Oh we'll have to change that." Sirius began to wrack his brains, wondering how to torment the portrait of his great-great-grandfather.

It was then he added a cloud at the top of the portrait. Hoping it would do what we wanted it to do, Sirius hopped off the chair and took a step back.

Then he heard it. A tiny rumbling thunderclap. The small cloud let out a downpour of water on the head of the most disliked Headmaster Hogwarts had ever seen.

The other Headmasters and Headmistresses roared with laughter as Phineas shot up, spluttering and sopping wet.

"How dare you?" he began. "You get in trouble, slander the good name of Black, and now you wet me!" Phineas glanced at his chair, which was oozing water everywhere, and began to wring out his robes.

"Actually, I rather think Sirius was helping you."

Sirius turned to the doorway, where Dumbledore was standing, trying to hide a smile.

"Helping me?" Phineas asked, outraged.

"Yes, it has been a while since your portrait was cleaned, Phineas."

Phineas glared at Dumbledore, then stalked right out of his frame. Unfortunately before Dumbledore flicked his wand and returned the portrait to its original, dry state.

As for Sirius, with much pleading and persuading from the other portraits in the room, Dumbledore did not upbraid him for getting into trouble. That time at least.


	17. Celeste Helms

Talking in Our Sleep

**Note: No idea who to do this chapter, so I'm going with Celeste. Hope that's OK.**

Chapter 17: Celeste Helms

The four Gryffindor girls returned to their dorms late that evening. They had been to Hogsmeade all day and were, for the most part, exhausted.

Lily sighed softly as she sank down on her bed. She kicked off her shoes and flopped back onto the bed. "I think... I had too much chocolate."

Marci let out a mock gasp. "Too much chocolate? Those words do not belong together!"

She and Lily burst into giggles.

"Ssh!"

The two looked around. Gen was pointing to Celeste, who had curled up in a little ball on her bed and was already fast asleep.

"Why Gwennie, I didn't know you liked Celeste enough to let her sleep."

"I don't, but she's asleep. Which means she isn't being a royal pain."

The other two girls started to giggle again. Even Gen managed a tiny smile.

"Let's just let her sleep, so shush the giggles."

When the two girls were finally quiet, they heard Celeste mumble softly in her sleep.

"Should we wake her up? She did, after all, wake me up in the library." Lily said, hopping off her bed and taking a few steps towards Celeste, all the while wondering how she could rudely wake Celeste up.

"Just let her sleep." Gen said.

"Don't say that." Celeste mumbled, as she seemingly hugged her blanket.

The other girls exchanged looks before leaning closer to Celeste's bed to hear her.

"It's utterly inappropriate."

Gen snorted at this. "I don't even want to know what she's dreaming about. Celeste's meaning of the word 'inappropriate' is nowhere near everyone else's."

"Considering how many boys she's snogged, I have to agree." Marci said with a giggle.

"Take your bloody broomstick and -- " Celeste cut herself off as she buried her face in her blanket. But the other girls could figure would what she wanted whomever it was to do with that broomstick.

"... test my potions on you." Celeste grumbled.

"She's pretty annoyed isn't she?" Marci asked.

"To test her potions on someone, I'd say so." Lily said with a smile. "Can we wake her up?" she added sweetly.

Gen was still determined to let Celeste sleep. Marci had not yet made up her mind.

"Or shove you off the Astronomy Tower." Celeste grumbled. She was scowling, her eyebrows nearly meeting. And she was clinging so tightly to her blanket that the other girls were expecting a ripping sound any second.

Lily looked at Gen. "I think you're right. As much as I'd love to wake her up, and get back at her for waking me up in the library, if she's this mad she needs to sleep."

So the other girls got ready for bed, leaving Celeste to grumble angrily in her sleep for the rest of the night.

Though surprisingly, she was very sweet the following morning.


	18. Professor Sprout

Talking in Our Sleep

**Note: I thought I had already done Sprout but I guess not. I hope she's funny! This is my second, or third depending on how you see it, post today so I may be running low on funny juice.**

**I know I still haven't done Madame Pomfrey's, and who else? Any random, off the wall character you guys want to see?**

Chapter 18: Professor Sprout

Professor Sprout was very tired, having had to deal with plants and first years for most of the day. She was more than ready to go to sleep.

The moment she hit the bed, she was out like a light.

"No, I will not prune your Fanged Geranium." Rolling over, she added, "Ask Dumbledore to do it. He seems to like them."

With a mumble, she pulled her blankets closer to her face. When she spoke again, her voice was muffled.

"I may take care of the school's plants for a living, but I am not a Potions teacher! Mix your own potions!"

She began to trash a bit in her sleep, kicking off her covers and grumbling to herself about "incompetent Potionmakers".

"I can give you the plants," she said, "but I am not mixing anything up! I rather dislike Potions. And they dislike me."

After a while, Sprout seemed to calm down. She sighed and snuggled her blanket closer to her face. And for several minutes, she was quiet.

But soon enough, she started to frown in her sleep.

Finally, Sprout blurted, "Do you know what? I don't like plants. There, I said it. I do not like them! Especially the ones that bite."

She was quiet, as though she was waiting for someone to respond to her. Then she said, "Well, I tell you what: you go stay in a greenhouse with plants that like to strangle, bit, and whack you over the head. Do it. See how you enjoy it."

For a moment, she seemed at a loss for words. Opening and shutting her mouth several times, she finally blurted, "Magical plants are so fussy! They've got to be buried deep enough, the right temperature, the right amount of food! You take care of them!"

Then her expression softened. "Me? I wanted to play Quidditch! But no, no one wanted me. So I'm stuck with PLANTS!"

She snorted in her sleep. "I'd rather be hit by a dozen Bludgers. Mess with your own plants for once!"

After that, she was quiet. It seemed as though Professor Sprout had finished her dream argument. She slept until her alarm went off, which seemed to startle her.

"Goodness, I nearly overslept." she said with a yawn as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

She took a look at her schedule and smiled. "Fourth Years and Flutterby Bushes. What a wonderful start this morning."


	19. Aberforth Dumbledore

Talking in Our Sleep

**Note: I just keep skirting around poor Dumbles don't I? I was honestly debating between him and Madame Pomfrey. But then I decided we'd go with my favorite Dumbledore. Aberforth! YAY!**

**Still open for more suggestions.**

Chapter 19: Aberforth Dumbledore

Upstairs in The Hog's Head, Aberforth Dumbledore slept. He had a long night, and had just shoved out his last customers for the evening. And he welcomed the sight of his bed.

Though his bitter mood when he went to bed seemed to reflect in his sleep.

"Well you need to take your damn quill and parchment and get out of my bloody pub, don't you?" he asked. "I'm not doing interviews and I won't tell you how to bewitch a goat!"

He paused. "Illegal Muggle dueling? If they fight, they fight. It's not my place to stop them! And I said I wasn't doing any interview!"

"Why does my pub smell like goats? Well why do you smell like dung? Answer me that!'

He rolled over, grumbling about obnoxious _Daily Prophet_ employees.

"Go to Rosemerta, then, if you want to interview a pub owner. I've never broken any law, I just prefer my quiet. And my goats."

"Goats are better than people." he said. "They're not controlling or manipulative." He grunted. "Much better than that brother of mine anyway."

Aberforth grumbled as he rolled over. He seemed to be winning this argument. He looked rather pleased with himself.

"Yeah, I broke his nose. Anyone who had any respect for my sister would've done it as well."

He seemed to shake his head. Downstairs, there was a bit of a commotion, but it did not wake him up from his sleep.

"How about you take your little newspaper and get lost? I'll set the goats loose if you don't. They seem to like reporters."

He chuckled to himself, and rolled over, seemingly getting rid of the reporter. He slept peacefully for the next few minutes, until the sound of something falling downstairs woke him up.

Getting to his feet and grabbing his wand, Aberforth started to grumble. He lit his wand as he headed down the stairs.

"Who's got the nerve to come in my pub after closing?" he shouted.

The only response he received was the door flying open and someone calling back, "We left you the gold on the counter!"

Aberforth shook his head as he glanced at the small stack of gold coins on the counter. He had a very good idea who had taken whatever it was they had taken. But at least they paid him for it.

Locking the door, he vaguely wondered about letting the goats run around during the night as a type of security measure. It would keep Hogwarts students out, at least he hoped it would.


	20. The Fat Lady

Talking in Our Sleep

**Note: Who wants Narcissa in the next chapter?**

Chapter 20: The Fat Lady

There was a large pileup of Gryffindors outside the Gryffindor Tower. Usually after dinner, they were all inside, doing homework or just generally causing chaos.

But at that moment The Fat Lady, the woman in the portrait that allowed passage to Gryffindor Tower was fast asleep. And most of the students seemed to think it had something to do with her getting drunk somehow.

"How do we wake her up?" a girl asked from around Lily Evans's elbow.

Lily stepped forward. "Excuse me..." she began softly.

The Fat Lady grunted. "You tell those warlocks that they'll get what's coming to them." she said with a bit of a hiccup.

"Miss -- "

"Oh my friend Violet and I know ALL the goings-on in the castle." The Fat Lady gave a bit of a laugh. "Of course we do. We get free reign of the school. And running around at night, especially to catch students out of bounds for Filch, well that's part of the fun!"

A few Gryffindor students, no doubt who, hissed.

"And half of the school tends to sleepwalk!" The Fat Lady, who was sitting up, gave a wobble. She nearly toppled over. Instead, she giggled.

Lily waved her wand, causing several loud booms to come from it. The subjects of their portraits who were awake covered their ears.

"Sorry!" Lily said.

But the Fat Lady slept on.

More students groaned. Lily heard them all whispering to themselves.

"I have an essay due in the morning!"

"I promised my parents a letter!"

"She can't be asleep! Someone tell Dumbledore!"

Lily was half-tempted to go find the Headmaster and bring him there to wake her. Sleeping this early was not something she usually did. And for good reason.

"You know, the professors seem to enjoy being out and about at night. I heard Flitwick talking with Dumbledore one night. They said -- "

A loud wet raspberry cut off the rest of her words. Drawn to their distraught nature, Peeves was floating over the heads of the students.

"Peeves, get lost!"

"Nothing doing!" Peeves cackled.

"And really, some of the portraits aren't so bad. There's a monk downstairs, close to the kitchens you know, and he's rather charming." She gave a girlish giggle. "Pity he's a monk!"

Lily, and a few others, showed their disgust.

"It's a pity we cannot get to the Headmaster's office though. Who knows what we'll find there!"

"WOULD YOU WAKE UP?" Lily shouted, losing her cool.

The Fat Lady only toppled over on her side in response.

Groaning, Lily threw her arms up in defeat. "Someone else wake her!"

Peeves seemed to take this as his cue. Floating over to the portrait, he got as close to the Fat Lady as he possible could. He then whispered something no one, not even the students closest to him, could hear.

The Fat Lady awoke with a start. "PEEVES!" she cried.

Cackling, Peeves bowed to the Gryffindors and floated away.

Looking harassed, the Fat Lady stared at the Gryffindors now. "I suppose you want in?" she asked, annoyed.

A resounding "YES!" met her ears. She swung forward, looking bitter with them. But with them inside, she could finish her nap.


	21. Narcissa Black

Talking in Our Sleep

**Note: Narcissa gave me such a hard time. But I feel she's less insane than the rest of the Black family and I'd like to show that. How? Well, we'll see.**

**Suggestions? Requests? Drop me a line then.**

**And no, this chapter isn't truly meant to be funny. There might be a few funny moments but Narcissa's chapter I feel more serious.**

Chapter 21: Narcissa Black

Narcissa Black sighed wearily. She had a Transfiguration essay due in the morning and she had finally located the book she needed to finish it. It did not help that she had not slept very well the past few nights.

As she stared at the text, it started to become blurry. With a tiny mumble of "only five minutes" she put her head on her book and fell fast asleep.

About that time, her wonderful cousin Sirius and his best friend James appeared around the bookshelf that hid her from view.

"Aw, it's my darling cousin. Should we let her sleep?" Sirius asked.

James grinned. "Oh I suppose we shouldn't wake her..."

But the two did creep up next to her. Narcissa murmured something in her sleep as she tried to burrow her face into her book.

"I'd rather not..." she was saying.

"Rather not what?" James asked gently, grinning at Sirius all the same.

"Rather not marry him..."

"Marry who?" Sirius asked. He and James were sitting on either side of her. Though of course she was not aware of this. She mumbled into her book.

"Say again?"

"Lucius Malfoy. I admit he's rather handsome but... he's a bit of a bully and a git. I'm certain there are other purebloods I could marry. If I must do that."

Sirius and James exchanged looks. James raised an eyebrow. "Well," he whispered, "she has Lucius Malfoy right."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah Malfoy thinks he's the greatest. Greatest slimeball if you ask me. He can weasel his way out of anything."

Narcissa sighed softly in her sleep. Her blonde hair fluttered in front of her face.

"The purebloods are all but dead anyway," she said, "so I don't see why we have to constantly interbreed. We'll all be dead soon anyway."

Sirius and James exchanged looks. They both silently agreed that someone had been in talks with Voldemort. Or so this is what she had heard about him. Possibly from Lucius Malfoy.

"If I have children," she was saying, "they're most likely bound to marry a half-blood lying and saying they're a pureblood. Most Slytherins aren't pureblood anyway. The Black family, the Malfoy family, for the most part, we're the only purebloods in Slytherin."

Sirius silently cheered. "Oh I knew it! Most of them are lying. I wonder what Voldemort's going to say when he finds that out?"

"I guess pureblood and halfblood aren't as bad as Muggleborns." James said, not very willing to use the word "Mudblood".

Their whispered conversation seemed to finally get to Narcissa. She fluttered her eyes, blinking. As she sat up, she noticed the company she had.

"And what are you urchins doing?" she asked, her tone and attitude completely different from the one in her sleep.

She snatched up her book and got to her feet in a hurry. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she turned back and glared at them before walking off with her nose in the air.

"Well, I guess she doesn't remember what she said in her sleep." Sirius said.

"Or she's acting. Either way, I never expected that from her."

"Me either." Sirius glanced at the shelf she had just disappeared behind. "Thought I was the only one ready to renounce the Black ways."

"She won't renounce them." James said. "I think your cousin Bellatrix scares her straight whenever she veers off-course."

Sirius winced. He'd rather not have Bellatrix try to keep him straight. Though he did feel sorry for Narcissa. But only a little bit.


	22. Professor Sinistra

Talking in Our Sleep

**Note: Hmm I'm not entirely sure who to keep going with. I finally decided on Professor Sinistra.**

Chapter 22: Professor Sinistra

Nearly Headless Nick, the ghost of Gryffindor House, was making his nightly rounds of the school. Hoping against hope that no Gryffindors were running loose, he floated towards the Astronomy Tower, knowing full well that certain students used it as a haunt of sorts.

He chuckled at his pun, his head wobbling dangerously.

Once up at the tower, he thought it was deserted. It turned out he was wrong. Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy professor, was fast asleep, her head resting on one of the tables she had set up there.

Nick wondered whether or not he should wake her.

She did not seem distressed and she was resting comfortably after all... And as a teacher, Filch could not tell her off. Nick turned to leave her.

She sighed faintly in her sleep.

Nick paused, about to float through the wall. He turned back to her.

"Yes, I know..." she was saying.

Nick seemed torn between eavesdropping and leaving her be. After all, some of the ghosts may be willing to listen in on conversations, but he was above that!

But then again, Filch wasn't. And if he didn't stay and Filch came up here looking for someone to punish... perhaps Nick should defend her.

Or wake her up before Filch hears. Even if Nick himself overheard something personal.

She sighed again. "Yes I KNOW you like bananas, but sorry I don't have any! I'm fruit intolerant."

She shook her head and tossed her hair. "Perhaps the Headmaster has fruit but I don't, OK? I study stars, not starfruit. And certainly not starfish!"

Nick looked somewhat confused. He knew she taught of stars, but where did this talk of fish and fruit come in?

Perhaps he should just leave.

Sinistra sighed again. She sounded sad, what with all the sighing. Nick was ready to wake her up but she rolled her head onto her arm. She seemed to be stirring.

"No, I'm not normally a night owl. Why do you say that? Because I teach Astronomy? I get enough time to sleep and I certainly don't sleep during the day!"

'Certainly.' Nick thought. He had seen her out and about during the day. And she had often stood in while a teacher left the class for a while.

Plus she was very good at catching students sneaking away from their classes.

"No, I'd rather not be a portrait." Nick cocked his head, which nearly fell over.

"After all," she was saying, "who'd want to hang on a wall all day I ask you! And besides, those noisy and nosy students don't have much mind for the portraits. I feel somewhat sorry for them."

Nick felt sorry for them too, he decided. And he felt sorry for her. He stepped through the wall of the castle and returned a few moments later with a thin blanket. How he managed to carry in with his ghostly hands he did not know. But he draped it over her shoulders. She shivered but seemed glad to have it.

She sighed contently and said, "Thank you, I'd love your cloak." She even giggled in her sleep and her cheeks flushed!

She giggled again. "You know, it's not just the students who sneak up to the tower at nights without lessons."

Nick decided that it was best to leave her alone now. He floated through the door. It seemed he was not fully above letting out gossip. And he could not wait to tell the ghosts this!


	23. Mrs Norris

Talking in Our Sleep

**Note: WHEW! I bet you guys think I've dropped off the face of the earth. Not so! It's just that the Altador Cup is going on at Neopets, and I'm devoting all my time to that. Unfortunately, my team still has not won a game of Yooyuball.**

**We've tied twice though. And I will promise you guys this: I will try to update whenever we're against the teams with few people. But you might not see much of me until the Cup is over. Sorry!**

**For those also reading that, I will update Every Little Thing hopefully next.**

**And now I give you the wonderful, hopefully funny chapter of Mrs. Norris.**

Chapter 22: Mrs. Norris

James Potter and Sirius Black were hurrying back to Gryffindor Tower, trying to look as innocent as two boys who were out waaay past time to be out could.

"Just as long as that bloody cat doesn't crop up..."

Then they stopped. At the top of a flight of stairs, nestled somewhat in the shadows (either to spy on students or catch a wink of sleep without Filch knowing they were not sure) was the same 'bloody cat' Sirius just mentioned.

"Is she dead?" Sirius asked hopefully.

James leaned over the cat, watching her breathe evenly. Why, she was even purring!

"No, just sleeping."

Sirius looked slightly disappointed.

They watched the cat sleep, watched as her ears twitched and her tail flicked. Despite himself, Sirius burst out laughing as soon as the cat began to smack her lips.

"She's dreaming of food! Wish I dreamed of food..."

"I think you do, mate."

Mrs. Norris let out a meow in her sleep and stretched, drawing her front paws over her face. She purred louder.

James was actually tempted to pet her. "Wonder if this is the only time she can get away from that nutter, Filch?" he asked, more to himself than Sirius.

Sirius smirked. "You're probably right."

James kneeled down next to Mrs. Norris and said, "You know, I don't think she's so bad... while she's sleeping at least. She's actually rather pretty, too."

"Fancy Mrs. Norris, James? I think the 'Mrs.' should imply that she's married."

James chuckled. "Let's leave her be before she wakes up and alerts Filch that we're out of bed." He set off down the hall a few steps.

"Wait."

James stopped and stared back at Sirius, who was still standing next to the cat. "What?" he asked, hoping no ghost, or Filch, would pop up unexpectedly.

"There's something I've wanted to do for a long, long time." James watched as Sirius reared back and kicked the sleeping cat down the stairs. Laughing, they made a break for Gryffindor Tower.

Mrs. Norris sat at the foot of the stairs, somewhat dazed. She shook her head, glanced around, and got to her feet. She figured she deserved that for taking a nap on the job.


End file.
